No Way to Sell a Hotel

My Mom is organizing a conference, and recently traveled for a few days to check out some hotels where conference attendees will be staying. This is the e-mail I just got from her (it's all about the ending):

Last night I stayed at a hotel which turned out to be in the bad part of town. And, just to make me feel loved and wanted, they put me in the Presidential Suite. I am not sure which President they were thinking of, but I imagine it would have to be the president of some seedy car sales company. It was three rooms, two bathrooms and huge 'walk around the whole place' deck complete with three sets of tables and chairs and a ton of other chairs.

I had dinner sitting on my deck with a wonderful view of the mountains, right there across the freeway. Then I discovered that I was required to share the deck with the president of somewhere else staying in the other presidential suite. He was an absolute creep and I couldn't get into my room(s) fast enough and lock the doors.

Then I found that if I turned any lights out the clock turned off and the TV turned on. Also, strange things were happening vis a vis all the TVs in the other rooms. What to do? I certainly didn't want anyone to come to room to try to mend things at 9pm and I did have the much advertised Sweet Sleeper bed to look forward to.

So I unplugged things that wanted to be on and fiddled around until about 10:30 and got things reasonably sane. And I did sleep well. I met with the group sales manager at 8am, had breakfast with her before touring the “facility.”

Honest to God, no kidding, there was a man fast asleep on the floor, whiskey bottle beside him, in one of their “top of the line” conference rooms.