Bad Parenting Ideas

I carry a little notebook in my pocket and jot things down once in a while, like the kind of lock I need to buy at Home Depot, directions to a friend's house, or my mother-in-law's incredible banana cream pie recipe.

Then, every now and again, there is entry like this:

Things You Should Never Do With Your Baby

• Icy Diaper Wipes
• "Tequila Worm" Dinner
• Diaper Snacks
• Pantless Weekend
• Help Daddy Scrape Old Paint
• Catch the Strange Dog
• Poish the Shiny Staircase

The funny thing is that I have no recollection whatsoever of writing that down.